Tuesday 26 June 2012

Bulging brides my arse...

Mistress R and I are somewhat obsessed with 'Biggest Loser USA', series seven of which is currently being shown here in the afternoons on a channel called Pick TV. We watch it every single day without fail, we're just hoping that when it finishes we get season eight!
 When the channel 'Really' started, we were treated to the truly epic 'Tool Academy USA' so we were pissed when Really tailed off and just became a 24/7 mishmash of Border Control/Police Camera Bollocks, with only Cheaters (and that's weak!) in it's place. 
So we were really rather chuffed when a new series came on a couple of weeks ago right before 'Biggest Loser', called 'Bridalplasty'... oh yes, now there was epic car crash reality TV that could maybe even play in the big leagues with the likes of Brett Michaels' 'Rock of Love'. Sadly, it was over all too soon... and the memory of a dozen women competing to have their noses splinted, boobs enhanced and chins and arms liposuctioned (not to mention getting the wedding of their dreams) is already fading, so we were excited to see a new show had replaced 'Bridalplasty' called 'Bulging Brides'.
Unfortunately, BB's does not live up to the name. I was expecting a house full of hateful, roly-poly fridge bothers, calling each other 'be-atch' and maybe even throwing each other in a pool. But no, there's none of that, the first bride was under 140lbs... what the fuck! That's not bulging.... that's like the skinniest person you know moaning that they have a fat arse, just fuck off!
Consider that a point against you Pick TV, get your finger out, this is just shit. Why not plunder the Charm School series or give us the first series of Tool Academy that Really omitted to broadcast. And while you're at it make sure you've got the next series of Biggest Loser ready to go, I know there's about another five (plus the five before you started showing them!).
Totally stoked to see Tara kicking Sione's ass in the car pulling challenge after they all ganged up on her to handicap her with extra weight. Awesome job!

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