TV in the Festive Season...

Who knew there were that many Christmas films! Channel 5 is showing at least three a day, five some days, one after another! Still I guess it gives Steven Seagal a couple of weeks off. Elsewhere, on Freeview, we have the usual shit. Six hours of back to back episodes of Dog the Bounty Hunter...
But we've been through that before.
What annoys me, is that in general, no matter how good a TV show is, the Christmas Special is always a bit shit. And yet, year after year after year we are served up those very Christmas Specials as a reminder of how good those old shows used to be. Do you see the problem here?
And why is it that the 1970s is the 'Christmas' decade?
Furthermore, channels like 4 Music are sinking under the weight of three hour special-a-thons where a celebrity chooses their fave Christmas choons. I swear to God that Carol (Rear of the year) Vorderman was doing one yesterday... presumably on the strength of the fact that her name is Carol (geddit!). Fucks sake.
It's not like there's a bottomless pit of Christmas songs to choose from is it? You can guarantee to hear Mistletoe and Wine and Slade at least every 90 minutes.
I wouldn't mind but since I've got a cold I wouldn't mind watching TV this Christmas, but fuck that. yesterday I watched the entire third series of Black Books instead.

Some choice...

Ah, multichannel TV, what a wonderful thing.... well, sometimes, yes it is. But this afternoon I was looking to watch something for a few minutes while I gathered the energy to go clean the bathroom and what a sorry pile of shit I found. Well, that's to be expected after all it is freeview!
Okay, but that's really not what annoys me, it's the laziness of the scheduling. What do we have on Pick TV today? Ten one hour episodes of 'Dog the Bounty Hunter' back to back. Okay so what about Viva? Ten episodes of 'The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air' back to back. What about Dave? Ten episodes of 'Red Dwarf' back to back.
It's not that I have anything particular against any of these shows, but even if they were my favourite shows I wouldn't want to watch it all fucking day, and in the case of 'Prince of Bel-Air' they've been showing this thing for months now, how many episodes are there for fucks sake? Not enough to warrant the amount of rotation they're getting that's for sure.
And another thing, when REALLY launched it showed promise, giving us two series of the excellent Tool Academy US and Tough Love, but now... it's wall to wall Medical Emergency over and over and over and over and over... interspersed with Emergency Room and some other medical shit. Who watches that stuff anyway?

Bulging brides my arse...

Mistress R and I are somewhat obsessed with 'Biggest Loser USA', series seven of which is currently being shown here in the afternoons on a channel called Pick TV. We watch it every single day without fail, we're just hoping that when it finishes we get season eight!

 When the channel 'Really' started, we were treated to the truly epic 'Tool Academy USA' so we were pissed when Really tailed off and just became a 24/7 mishmash of Border Control/Police Camera Bollocks, with only Cheaters (and that's weak!) in it's place. 

So we were really rather chuffed when a new series came on a couple of weeks ago right before 'Biggest Loser', called 'Bridalplasty'... oh yes, now there was epic car crash reality TV that could maybe even play in the big leagues with the likes of Brett Michaels' 'Rock of Love'. Sadly, it was over all too soon... and the memory of a dozen women competing to have their noses splinted, boobs enhanced and chins and arms liposuctioned (not to mention getting the wedding of their dreams) is already fading, so we were excited to see a new show had replaced 'Bridalplasty' called 'Bulging Brides'.

Unfortunately, BB's does not live up to the name. I was expecting a house full of hateful, roly-poly fridge bothers, calling each other 'be-atch' and maybe even throwing each other in a pool. But no, there's none of that, the first bride was under 140lbs... what the fuck! That's not bulging.... that's like the skinniest person you know moaning that they have a fat arse, just fuck off!

Consider that a point against you Pick TV, get your finger out, this is just shit. Why not plunder the Charm School series or give us the first series of Tool Academy that Really omitted to broadcast. And while you're at it make sure you've got the next series of Biggest Loser ready to go, I know there's about another five (plus the five before you started showing them!).

Totally stoked to see Tara kicking Sione's ass in the car pulling challenge after they all ganged up on her to handicap her with extra weight. Awesome job!