Thursday, 29 December 2011

I've heard it all now...

Mistress R has a cousin with a 3yr old and a 6yr old. For Christmas the 6yr old wanted a Nintendo DS, which at well over £100 seems a bit excessive to me, but whatever. However, in the interests of keeping the peace, they decided that it would be easier to buy the three year old one too. Whatever happened to learning to share? Fucked if I know. But then I'm an only child. Not that that meant I was spoiled. Not fucking likely. If I'd wanted a DS as a three year old I would have been given a short bloody answer.
Furthermore, I can't remember exactly when I stopped believing in Santa, but actually I can't ever actually remember believing in him. I probably came out of the womb a sceptic. I can well imagine my mother putting me to bed on Christmas Eve, my pipe and slippers neatly tidied away in the corner as she told me to go to sleep or Santa wouldn't come.
"Don't be ridiculous mother, everyone knows that Santa is a fictional character... next you'll be telling me that there's an actual tooth fairy. Preposterous!"
Actually, Mistress R's cousin told us the tale of one of her friends who took her child to one of those Santa's Grotto type places a few days before Christmas, whereupon he sat on Santa's knee and told him he wanted a Nintendo DS (ah, yes, that again!). Unfortunately it seems the little sod had taken this whole thing at face value and had forgotten to mention this to his parents, which therefore left them in the unenviable position of having spent oh, several hundred pounds on what they thought he actually wanted, only to be left DS'less just a few days before the big day.
Now my first thought would be 'tough shit', followed by 'now would be a good time to explain that Santa doesn't exist', or perhaps explaining that 'while Santa does listen to what you ask he is bound by the fiscal realities of life just as we all are'. But no, it turns out this little shit had played a blinder. Now his parents would have to buy him a DS because they had told him not minutes before that he should tell Santa what he wanted and he would definitely get it.
Brilliant. Well in that case I want a ten inch cock, a six pack and a bigger house.
Ludicrous as this was, this all happened last year, and this year we hear that another child (or perhaps the same one?) was given an i-Pad for Chistmas. A three year old child with an i-Pad. That's fucking pathetic. I'm 42 and I've only just got a laptop!
The only good that I can see coming of this is that perhaps the child might look up Santa Claus on wikipedia and discover that actually he doesn't exist. Result for the parents, perhaps a book mark might be in order (or perhaps an actual book mark would be a more suitable present for a three year old?).

No comments:

Post a Comment